My Love's, My Life...: The worst week....EVER!

The week of March 8, 2010 was definetly the worst week of my life. I took Jeremiah to the doctor on Monday March 8 after being sick over the weekend with diahrea and vomiting and high fever, this wasn't the first time this year going to the doctor he has already been in and out of the ER and instacare with bronchiolits and colds and just hasn't been able to kick it. So monday morning in the doctors office he had a temperature of 105.1! So Dr. V admitted him to the Mercy Gilbert hospital to look after him with such a high temperature she said he's fighting something and we need to find out what it is. When I took him to the hospital he started to look and feel better and his temperature went down to normal after being given some medicine but kept getting high once the medicine wore off. They did a bunch of swabs, blood tests and xrays but everything was normal while in the meantime Jeremiah wouldn't eat or drink so he got very dehydrated. He was placed in isolation so we were in the room for two days and he couldn't leave the room. They gave him an IV to hydrate him which was soooo sad, I had to hold him down so they could do it, they had to poke him twice. At times he was very happy and jumping around and acting like normal, Ryan even said I don't know why they are keeping him here he seems fine. He still had the fever that kept coming back once the medicine wore off and he was very dehydrated. On tuesday night he pulled out the IV and they wanted to give him another but I really didn't want them too and asked the nurse's to see if the doctor really thought he needed it and he did. So once again I had to hold him down while he was screaming and I'm trying to hold back my tears, the nurse said I could wait outside if I wanted to but yea right like I was going to leave him by himself with strangers that were hurting him. After the first nurse tried twice another nurse tried two more times and still couldn't get a vein they called the doctor and said they should try in the morning. So because they couldn't get the IV in they had to give him an antibiotic that the medicine stung going in(the nurse said). My poor baby was so exhausted after the trial of IV's, he really didn't even have the energy to cry when they gave him the shot he kinda made a whimper then rolled over and fell asleep. That night was a long night, Jeremiah was really congested and started breathing really heavily so throughout the night they had to stick tubes down his nose to suck out the mucous and he was given breathing treatments every few hours which didn't really seem to help. After a looong night the next morning he wasn't any better, he just seemed to worsen and he was struggling to breath, it sounded so wierd and horrible the way he breathed and the Doctor was getting worried and said he needed fluids so once again they put him on the table in this small little room that both I and Jeremiah grew to hate (by this time anyone that got near Jeremiah he would hold on to me tight and scream) the nurse's tried again, two nurse's two poke's each, no vein so they brought in a doppler/radiology machine so they could see his vein and I was told that if anyone could get his vein it would be radiology they tried twice:( still no vein! I was crying by now and I felt so helpless to my little baby boy, the worst feeling ever. All I could think was I'm his mom and he's screaming and I can't help him, he's probally thinking mommy why are you letting them hurt me. My heart ached so much and i kept saying a prayer over and over. This is when all these doctors, nurses, radiology, hospital staff were rushing in and out of this tiny room and standing outside in the hallway. They were coming up to me for support and the hospital religious guy(not sure what he was called,it was a catholic hospital) came and talked to me and said he would say a prayer for Jeremiah, everyone was really nice and showed genuine concern. They were drawing more blood and taking another xray which when they sat him up for the xray he just kinda slumped over and he was so pale. They finally gave him an IV through some kind of shot to the bone in his leg, it was loud and horrible. The doctor said he was in really bad shape and that he needed to be transfered to Phoenix Childrens hospital ICU where she felt was the best place for him now. She still didn't know what was wrong with him because everygthing was coming back normal. She came over to tell me that they were going to place a ventilator on him to breath for him and my heart just dropped, he had to have a machine breathe for him, she said that they weren't saving him but she was really worried that he could crash at any minute and wanted to be ready for that since he was going to be transferred by helicopter. The doctor said Jeremiah was still fighting when they were doing blood tests so she said that was a good sign. She told me that I was handling this pretty well but I felt like my heart was going to explode. Ryan got to the hospital by this time, I called him and told him what was going on and he got there pretty fast which I was so grateful and I just went and hugged him and let it out, I was trying so hard to hold it in but now I had Ryan to be the strong one. Ryan went in and gave him a blessing which I'm so glad he could do that for him, it was such a beautiful blessing and the spirit was so strong that when I looked up the nurse's were crying. While we were waiting for them to get Jeremiah ready to be transferred I called my mom and Ryan's mom to let them know what was going on and told them to tell everyone to pray for Jeremiah. That is what came to my mind to have everyone pray for him, I just knew that the more people that prayed for him he would get better. I text my good friend Sarah from my ward and asked her to send an email to the ward to pray for him. I felt really comforted knowing that all the prayers would help him. So when it came time for Jeremiah to leave, they first told me I could fly with him but then the flight lady came up to me and said we didn't realize what shape he was in and were going to take more people on the helicopter just in case and that they didn't have room for me. Which was soooo horrible! I could only think of the worst that could happen on that helicopter and that I would never see him again, we said goodbye and I touched his little head and hand and gave him a kiss(he was sedated at this time so I couldn't see his blue eyes which made me cry more) My chest felt so heavy and it hurt so bad and I remember looking around at all the people standing around, so many of them, some of them crying and fighting back tears for my baby and I was so worried but a thought came to me and said that I have done all I can, people are praying for him, Ryan gave him a blessing and that he will be ok and I felt really comforted and I just knew he would be ok. The drive to phoenix childrens seemed like forever but Jeremiah made it fine and when we got there the doctor said that she thinks Dr. V made the right decision and that Jeremiah was going to be just fine. It was a little scary when they told me about the ventiliator and that Jeremiah was only breathing 10% on his own but it slowly went up to a 100% well it seemed slow to me but it was only a day and a half that he was on the ventilator. My dad and Ryan gave him another blessing and he had visitors come which was so nice to talk to people and I got to go take a shower in the hospital family area while they were there to stay with him. When he opened his little eyes and looked at me it was like heaven and his eyes were so blue and when they took out the ventilator his little voice was so soft you could barely hear it. Then I finally got to hold him and it was so sweet and I thank God that he was getting stronger and breathing on his own and that I got to take him home on friday. We were so happy to leave the hospital with our little angel. Gabriel and Bella were so happy to see him, I saw them once during the week and I tried not to cry when they asked me how Jeremiah was. Gabriel could tell that I had been crying and he was really worried about Jeremiah and he started to cry so then Bella started to cry too, they love their little brother so much. His pediatrician later told me at his follow up visit that after she left the hospital when he was being tranferred she got in her car and just started crying, she said "I was trying so hard to be strong for you because I'm the doctor but I'm a mother too and Jeremiah really scared me.", I am so grateful for her and her decisions that day. We did find out that he had adenol virus(?) pneumonia and asthma thus the struggling to breath so he has to have an inhaler twice a day and singulair once a day. He hasn't been sick since starting his meds like he was before, always getting sick since he was born, thank goodness! I still have to hold back my tears writing this all but I am so glad he's ok and he's happy and healthy and that I get to hear his sweet little voice everyday.